In the first instance, I strongly advise you to spend some time naked and alone, either in the bath or in bed, exploring your body and discovering what it is that makes you respond. Why? Because when you set out to have an orgasm during sex, never having experienced one before, you put tremendous pressure on your relationship, and both of you will end up feeling like failures when the orgasm fails to materialise, as it almost inevitably will. So please, spend some time practising alone, and then share your know-how with your boyfriend. Once you've gained some confidence in your body, and some basic understanding of how your vulva likes to be touched, and you're ready to add a man to the scene, please keep reminding both yourself and your boyfriend that the key to a woman's arousal lies in stimulating her clitoris, not her vagina. This is where many a fella goes wrong - he thinks a gala's sexual excitement, like his own, is centred around his energetic pumping up and down inside her. As a result, the woman's poor neglected clit barely gets a look-in. So if you find that foreplay with your boyfriend goes well but your arousal takes a dive shortly after sex begins, be sure to re-arrange yourselves so that your clit either gets direct stimulation from your boyfriend's penis or it gets stoked by his (or your) fair fingers. I hope that with these adjustments you'll soon get the orgasm you've been waiting for.