Batteries included...

Elizabeth says...

I doubt you're a sex addict, though the condition certainly exists. I'm
guessing you simply have a high libido and that right now you don't have the
strength or desire to knock back a bit of quality nooky when it's handed to
you on a plate. You say you've been honest with these men and you also say
you're taking care of contraception. I'm going to take both these statements
at face value, which leaves me to conclude that from an ethical and a health
point of view, you're acting both responsibly and fairly (though please
bare in mind that some sexually transmitted infections can be passed on even
when you use a condom). Yet you're still feeling guilty, so something
clearly isn't right. You say the sex with both men is good but I'm forced to
conclude that your mind is in conflict with your body, and this is something
you need to resolve. I have a hypothesis and it goes like this: you'd feel
guilty and dirty even if you were sleeping with just one of these men,
because at some level you're unhappy about having a long-term sexual
relationship with a bloke you don't really care about. If this rings true,
you wouldn't be alone - most people feel like they're letting themselves
down when they keep going back for more sex with someone who leaves them
cold. This is because, with the passing of time, it becomes incredibly
difficult to divorce sex from emotions - which is why one-night stands are
usually best left at one night. I'm guessing that every time you go back to
one of your lovers, you feel like you're letting yourself down - though of
course these feelings don't surface until after your sexual needs have been
met and you're back to thinking straight. So really, you'd be much better
off disentangling yourself from both these blokes and waiting for something
more fulfilling to come along. There's another hitch to your current
situation: having two lover occupies a huge amount of time and thinking
space (you say you don't see these men outside the bedroom but I bet you
spend hours planning your encounters and thinking back over the ones you've
had). So while you remain embroiled with these men, you'll have neither the
time nor energy to meet someone new - perhaps a very sexy bloke who could
stimulate you on all levels.

Chloe, 21, Manchester asks...

I'm having sex with two different guys. I'm not going out with either and
they both know exactly where they stand, and what's more I'm very careful
with contraceptives, but though the sex is good with both men, I don't
really fancy either, except when we're having sex. In fact I rarely see
either of them out of the bedroom, as after we've had sex and the urge has
gone I always feel a bit guilty and dirty and rush to leave. Yet I always
end up going back for more as I can't resist having sex again. Could I be a
sex addict - or do I just have a high libido?

Batteries included...