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| And for my next sexperiment... |
| Pole dancing, public sex, a date with a porn flick... Sometimes a little bit of your fantasy does you good, says our sexpert, Flic Everett. As these readers found out |
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| Introducing anything new to your sex life can be scary. You've no idea whether you'll enjoy it, or if he'll recoil in horror at the very notion of thigh-high boots. You don't know if it'll result in the best sex ever, or whether you'll just end up feeling stupid. So wouldn't it be great if you could have a little taster, to see if it'll live up to the fantasy - or kill it stone dead? The good news is, you don't have to hedge round the subject with your best friend, or trawl dodgy websites for 'real-life experiences.' Because we've asked several very honest (and very brave) Company readers to tell you exactly what it was like when they made their fantasies a reality. And, no, we didn't demand photos. |
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Public sex |
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Tried by: Lois Watson, 29, from Stafford, and her ex-boyfriend, Dave*
'I'd always been turned on by the idea, and Dave was really up for it - but, whenever he suggested doing it for real, I always backed out. One time, though, we were at a club and it was a pretty wild night. We'd lost our friends and were on the packed dance floor when he pulled me to him, so my bum was against his crotch, and started inching my skirt up at the back. I couldn't believe what he was doing, but it felt so exciting and naughty. I reached round and undid his fly buttons - it took a bit of grinding to get into the right position, but everyone was so messed up, I'm sure they had no idea. We actually had sex, right there, just for a couple of minutes - I didn't orgasm, but it was the most exhilarating thing I've ever done.'
Flic says: 'Adrenalin can be a massive turn-on, and the big thrill of public sex is the risk of discovery. If that's too scary, consider a private club, like Killing Kittens (www.killingkittens.co.uk), which holds classy sex parties - you don't have to swing, but you can get wild with your partner while other people watch, without the danger of getting arrested!' |
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Dressing up |
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Tried by: Teresa O'Connell, 24, from Liverpool, with her boyfriend, Matt.
'I've never been too confident about my body, so wouldn't normally dream of attracting attention by dressing up, but, last year, Matt bought me a nurse's outfit for my birthday. One night, for a giggle, I put it on, with stockings and stilettos. It was amazing - as soon as I was dressed up, I felt like a different person. I found myself really getting into the role, pretending he was the patient and I was examining him. I'd say things like, 'You seem to have a swelling between your legs; I think we need to relieve the pressure.' At first, we kept laughing, but, as soon as I started touching him, it got pretty serious and we ended up having amazing sex. For once, I didn't feel like me, I felt like the sexy nurse of his fantasies. We've done it a lot since - and he's just bought me a French-maid outfit as well!'
Flic says: 'Role play and dressing up are fantastic for shedding your inhibitions, because, like Teresa, you can lose yourself in playing a role. Buying the outfit is the first step to taking the plunge - the internet's great for this; try sites like www.lovehoney.co.uk. Once you have the outfit, you can try it on, on your own, to begin feeling comfortable in it. When you get it on, you'll realise just how foxy you look. He can dress up, too - sex shops have all sorts of costumes, from vicar to fireman.'
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The threesome |
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Tried by: Becky Maynard, 26, from Surrey, and her boyfriend, Tom.
'Although neither of us are jealous types, we never planned to have a threesome; it just happened. It was after a Christmas party two years ago. We were very drunk and my friend Caroline was staying over. We were giggling and pretending to touch each other up - then Tom came into the room and obviously found it very sexy. So we snogged for real to tease him, then he asked if he could join in. I did have a moment of, 'Oh, my God, what are we doing?' But it felt so daring and erotic, I just wanted to see where it went. We kissed and fondled each other on the sofa, then we all moved to the bedroom - it was a real turn-on to see Tom's excitement and, soon, we were all naked. All three of us came, through fingers and tongues, but I wouldn't let Tom and Caroline have full sex - I wanted something that was still ours alone and she understood that. We're still all mates, but we've never done it again since. It was an amazing one-off, but it wouldn't have worked if any of us had been insecure.'
Flic says: 'Becky's right - a couple have to be 100% secure to risk a threesome. If there's any mistrust, it can blow your relationship apart. If you do go for it, agree the sexual rules in advance - and make sure nobody feels left out. That means being extra-sensitive to all three people's equal enjoyment.' |
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Stripping |
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Tried by: Gill Conroy, 29, from Bristol, and her husband, Ed.
'Ed isn't the type to go to strip clubs, but I always knew he'd love it if I 'performed' for him. So, for his birthday last year, I booked myself in for a couple of pole-dancing lessons, so I could get some confidence, learn some moves and surprise him. It was more hard work than sexy at that point, but I bought some glam new underwear, and beckoned him into the living room. I was really nervous, and terrified he'd laugh, but I started moving to a Mary J Blige song and slowly shimmying my clothes off. Ed was mesmerised - his eyes literally glazed over with lust! I felt like such a sex queen. I kept my heels and stockings on, and we had sex on the living-room floor. Afterwards, he told me it was the sexiest thing anyone had ever done for him.'
Flic says: 'If you feel embarrassed, get him naked first - seeing how turned on he is will mean you feel more secure. If you're not sure where to start, try Gill's idea of a couple of lessons - burlesque or pole-dancing classes are held at lots of gyms nowadays. They're a great way to pick up a few moves and boost your confidence. |
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