Rachel, 18 from London asks...

Vittoria says...

Rachel, I know this is really difficult but you're not listening to the man. He has given you no hope. He has said: 'The relationship is over' and you've chosen to hear: 'Our love is taking a rest.' It's a spin that you alone seem to have put on the break-up - there's little in your letter to suggest he has delivered an outright lie or fed you false hope.
So now you're in limbo, while he merrily (well, a little guiltily too probably) gets on with his life. The problem clearly stems from your different interpretations of the word 'break'. You are obviously dwelling on the short-term undertones of this term, seeing it a bit like one might see a playground break - ie. brief time-off between lessons. But he is evidently using the word to mean something deep and irreparable - a rupture.
Given how much you want to believe this relationship will mend itself, I suspect this man - this studious bloke who once loved you but now does not - simply doesn't have the heart to set you straight. Listen to yourself: '...he wants a break, [but] we act as if we've broken up.' Yes. He wants a break, so you've broken up.
Given how fragile you're feeling right now, I can see that his insistence that he still loves you doesn't help. I can only assume he means 'love' in the way we all love and crave familiarity and habit, and miss it when it's gone.
Honey, this relationship is truly over - the guy has moved on and you're clinging to straws. I'm really sorry.

Read between the lines

Rachel, 18 from London asks...

After two-and-a-half years together, my boyfriend recently said he wanted to take a break to focus on his education. He says he feels like he doesn't know himself anymore, but I really don't understand what that means. Despite him saying he wants a break, we act as if we've broken up because he says it's easier for him to think of it that way. I know he still loves me because he keeps telling me so but that doesn't make things any easier for me. I want him back so badly but at the same time I want him to be sure of his feelings for me. Trouble is, he has no idea how long it will take for him to make a decision on when we should get back together, and while I'm more than prepared to wait, I feel like I need a calendar to do a countdown, and that without it I'm in limbo. Please help - I'm finding it a struggle to cope.