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| When to say I love you |
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| by Marged Richards |
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When you know it's the real thing |
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| If you know he feels as strongly as you do, go ahead and say those Three Little Words.
'When love is genuinely reciprocated, you don't have to wait for him to say it first,' says Malcom Stern, author of The Courage to Love (Piatkus). What if he doesn't say it back? 'He may not. Very often, when you say 'I love you' you're actually asking a question: do you love me? But the best way is to offer it as a gift, not a bargaining tool.'
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When he's tender and caring |
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| Two basic human needs, physical touch and affection are crucial in a relationship. Us girls need to be hugged and cuddled, unlike most men, says Balbir Chagger, co-founder of the Harley Relationship Centre. So when he holds and kisses you just because he wants to be close to you (rather than doing it as a means to get your clothes off), tell him how much you like it. There might be times when you first met when you couldn't tell the difference between feeling loved and feeling mauled. That's because you need to learn how each of you likes being touched. 'Don't assume that because a previous partner liked being touched in a certain way, your boyfriend will too,' warns Balbir. 'And if his hands do things that annoy you, tell him quick. Otherwise he'll carry on doing it, and you'll get more and more angry with him.'
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When you can laugh, cry, and be serious with him |
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| When you can really be yourself with someone, you're on to a good thing. 'A real relationship is one in which you feel you can communicate honestly about everything - worries, hopes, dreams, problems - without feeling judged or criticised. That is what a meaningful relationship is all about,' explains Balbir.
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When you want to be with him, without wanting to change him
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| If you adore and accept your man just the way he is, the good bits and the bad, then you're in a great place to enjoy a healthy, potentially long lasting relationship. If you think you can change him, think again. The only person that can do that is him - and only if he wants to. If you find yourself thinking about the things you'd like to change about him, why not look at what you might change about yourself to make you a better, more compassionate girlfriend?
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When every time you think of him you feel warm inside and you smile uncontrollably
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| Aww - you've got it bad girl! Enjoy it.
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