Hayley, 23 from Glasgow asks...

Online cheater

Vittoria says...

First, as you well know, your boyfriend was telling you a porky-pie when he said he didn't find those pictures sexy. I mean, why else would he download them? To paste onto a birthday card to send his mother? I think not. But Helen, of course he said those images didn't turn him on - you were holding a gun to the poor guy's head. Jealousy is a complicated and very destructive emotion. Right now, you're feeling threatened by your boyfriend's interest in glamour models and insecure in your own ability to match their sexiness, and to an extent, this is understandable: 'normal' women can never hope to look like porn stars. But porn stars don't look like porn stars without a lot of help. For starters, you could seal every draughty door in Buckingham Palace with the amount of silicone they pump into their breasts. On top of their surgically enhanced assets, these women are styled and airbrushed to within an inch of their lives. So to aspire to look like one of them is a pointless and painful waste of time.

Now for the good news: your boyfriend would have no expectation of a girlfriend who looks like a centrefold. I can say with utmost confidence that he feels no disappointment whatsoever as a result of you having the physique of an earthling rather than a goddess from Venus. Blokes are very effective at separating 'fantasy' from 'reality', and generally they're only too pleased to tuck away their X-rated magazines at the end of the day and snuggle up with the real thing.

One thing you can't do, I'm afraid, is strip your boyfriend of his imagination and his interest in images of beautiful, sexy women. For a start, you'd have to lobotomise him or cut off his testicles to have any success. But in any case, to attempt to ban his interest in sexy women would be as unfair and small-minded as ripping out his taste buds: how could you ever justify dulling his senses and making his life more bland? I'm afraid it is you who will have to adapt. You must decide if you trust your boyfriend to be faithful to you and not to follow through with his sexual fantasies (those that don't involve you, that is). If you do, then you must accept that there's a private room in his head where he's free to romp among the naked nymphets and play out all sorts of outlandish sexual scenarios without any censorship from you. If you stop for a moment to reconnect with what's going on in your own head, I bet you'll find a small red door in there leading to a naughty room all of you own. So what are you waiting for? Open up and see who's waiting for you on the other side...

Hayley, 23 from Glasgow asks...

I discovered recently that my boyfriend has downloaded a series of images of naked women onto his computer. I was really upset on discovering it and feel like I'm not enough for him, I'm not his type physically and I know that he's still got a roving eye. It's not as though I expect him never to find another woman attractive but to be pro-active about downloading images is something that I find hurtful. I'm not a prude and there is very little that I haven't tried in the bedroom but I feel really insecure now. When I brought it up with him, he said that they were just images and that he just liked looking at them every now and again and that they didn't turn him on (unlikely considering they were all very sexually charged). Basically, it was my problem not his. What do I do?