'My sex fear means I haven't slept with anyone for a year'
Look who we found in Company. She may be one of the more confident housemates so far but here Big Brother's Shabnam opens up about intimacy issues and her fear of sex...
'My sex fear means I haven't slept with anyone for a year'
'Sex never really entered my head until I turned 19 and I realised all my friends had lost their virginity. At 20, I asked a nice guy I'd met in a bar to meet me in a hotel room. He was taken aback, but agreed. When he started kissing me, I blurted out that I'd never done this before and he seemed a little put off. As he touched me, I froze. I lay on the bed and he tried to penetrate me - it was so painful. In the end, he pulled away and said he couldn't do it because I was too tense. I asked him to leave, feeling stunned and humiliated.
Four months later, I went on a blind date and I rushed into sex. We kissed, but as he went down on me, I froze. I couldn't stop thinking about the moment of penetration. He couldn't enter me, so, eventually, he gave up. After that, I tried to forget about sex for a while. Then, a year later, I met a gorgeous guy in a bar. After a few dates, we tried to have sex. After he'd tried and failed to enter me, I explained I was terrified of sex, and he was really understanding. He made me orgasm manually, and I went home, walking on air. We managed to have sex a couple of times when I was drunk, but it was still painful. The last time was about a year ago.
I've heard about a condition called vaginismus, where the muscles around the vagina tighten against your will, and can cause sex to be painful or penetration difficult, and I'm wondering if that's what I have. I'm going to see my GP, but what I really need is to to meet someone who I totally trust.'
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